Tag Archives: quinoa

I did a 3-day juice cleanse (and lived)

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One day’s worth of juices from Pressed Juicery. SCREAMfmLondon

I don’t usually like to do things that could be considered “a step in the right direction” at the beginning of the year because I don’t want people to get the impression that I’m the kind of person who resolves to better myself. Nah, I plan to be terrible for a long, long time to come.

Still, I couldn’t help taking advantage of the opportunity to challenge myself with a three-day juice cleanse. And I did it, with the help of Pressed Juicery, who delivered the 18 requisite beverages (six per day) that comprise “Cleanse #2” to my doorstep at 4 a.m.

So, I drank my juices throughout the day as instructed. But I was hungry. Real hungry. And I did not feel energized, nor did I “glow.” And I’m sure I’ve since erased any progress I made “resetting” my body with all the Wingstop I’ve eaten since the cleansing ended. I guess some people are not cut out for that cleansing life.

I do, however, feel like I relate more to my fellow Angelenos since the completion of my juice cleanse. I feel more susceptible to Scientology and quinoa salad, too. Maybe I’ll try another cleanse in the future when I’m more mentally prepared to stock up on kale and organic guacamole afterwards. Anything could happen. 2015 is full of possibilities.

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Vanilla almond: the most delicious of the juices. SCREAMfmLondon

Greens 2: kale, spinach, romaine, parsley, cucumber, celery, apple, lemon

The first juice of the day is your standard green juice. This is what juicing is all about. It definitely tastes like it’s healthy — that is to say, it’s not super delicious, but it’s not bad. After a day or two, it begins to taste like you’ve been weeding the garden face-first. Make of that what you will.

Citrus 2: apple, lemon, pineapple, mint

I really expected this to be more delicious than it is. “Citrus” sounds tasty, the ingredients are all appealing, and the color of this juice is one of the most attractive. But the apple and mint are the most overpowering flavors in this one. It’s not the best.

Greens 3: kale, spinach, romaine, parsley, cucumber, celery, apple, lemon, ginger

They didn’t actually give me any of these! Instead, they sent me duplicates of the Greens 2, which is fine because the only difference is that Greens 3 is supposed to contain ginger. And who needs ginger? Nah, not me.

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Greens 2: start your day with a mouthful of plants. SCREAMfmLondon

Roots 3: apple, lemon, beet, ginger

I had high hopes for this because I feel like red juices are usually delightful. Clearly, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Roots 3 tastes like garbage. This is probably the roughest juice of the day. All beet with the distinctive, overwhelming zing of ginger in your face. It’s a chore to swallow. Do not recommend.

Lemon H2O: lemon, cayenne, filtered water

I expected this lemon water to taste more like lemonade. So naïve. It tastes like spicy, lemon garbage. I just had to close my eyes and drink it quickly, praying that it was actually doing something beneficial for my body. Supposedly, it preps your digestive tract for absorption. But it’s so awful, y’all.

Vanilla almond: filtered water, almond, dates, vanilla bean, sea salt

Well, I think this is the only juice that was genuinely enjoyable for me. I so looked forward to it at the end of each increasingly difficult day of the cleanse. That’s because it tastes like a milkshake and provides protein and healthy fats. My kinda drink. It’s more filling and satisfying than the other juices. Would definitely drink again.

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Cleanse prices at some popular juiceries around Los Angeles. SCREAMfmLondon

I took a sightseeing tour of my own neighborhood

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The famed RastaBus. SCREAMfmLondon

I hear talk that sightseeing tours are a great way to explore unfamiliar neighborhoods in big tourist destinations full of historical landmarks, just like Hollywood. I wasn’t sure what I’d take away from one, considering I happen to live in the aforementioned big tourist destination full of historical landmarks that is Hollywood. Maybe I’d learn something new and come away with a fresh perspective? Maybe it would suck and be boring. I was down to find out.

I set off on an “A Day in LA” tour hosted by the RastaBus — a tri-colored van, carefully decorated with “One Love” bumper stickers and peace signs, that played one reggae song at the very beginning of the day.

At 10 a.m., we clamored onto the bus from our starting point at the Santa Monica Pier. It didn’t take long for my boisterous fellow riders to commandeer the sound system, start blasting “No Diggity” and pop open a few bottles of champagne. Whenever I’d previously encountered a RastaBus in the wild, the passengers have always been really drunk and exceptionally annoying. But the thing about annoying, drunk people is that it’s much more fun to be with ‘em than against ‘em. So, I filled a red Solo cup and kicked back as we headed up the Pacific Coast Highway.

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Brunch on the water at our first stop on the Malibu Pier. SCREAMfmLondon

Malibu

The first stop was definitely the best part of the whole damn thing, and it was totally an anomaly. This is kind of deluxe treatment is highly atypical for a RastaBus tour, I assume. I just happened to be rolling with some well-connected sightseers who managed to surprise us with a hook up for free food. Individual results may vary.

We were dropped off at the Malibu Pier, where we were served an elaborate array of breakfast food at Malibu Farm, a ritzy farm-to-table restaurant located at the end of the pier. After weaving our way through fishermen with their wriggling mackerels, we were escorted into the Surfrider Room, a private dining area on the second floor of the restaurant that overlooks the gorgeous Malibu beaches.

We were treated to fresh-squeezed orange juice and local syrah rosé wine. Quinoa oatmeal with pomegranate and chia seeds. Swedish mini pancakes with homemade whipped cream and fresh strawberries. Vegan chop salad. Grilled chocolate and whole wheat olive oil cakes. And my personal favorite: a fried egg sandwich made with bacon, arugula and baby potatoes on top of country wheat toast.

Next time, I’d skip the rest of the tour and come straight here.

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Malibu Farm’s fried egg sandwiches that made it all worthwhile. SCREAMfmLondon

Beverly Hills

There was supposed to be a tour of celebrity homes, but we mostly just peered up at Will Smith’s and Prince’s houses as we headed back eastward on the freeway. Seriously, that was it. Oh, and the tour guide also pointed out some scenery that appeared in a panoramic shot of “Two and a Half Men.” You know, just the essentials.

We drove in abject silence to a backing track of old school East Coast rap (for some reason) toward Beverly Hills, where our driver shared some fun facts about Rodeo Drive and offered to let us stop to walk around for a while.

“Keep driving!” someone yelled from the front of the bus. “Unless anyone has a black credit card we can use.”

The Grove

We had a scheduled lunchtime stop at the Grove and Original Farmers Market, where we had about 45 minutes to explore by ourselves. It’s a cool place to hang if you have a pocket full of cash and longer than 45 minutes.

As we left the Grove, we took Melrose Avenue followed by Sunset Boulevard, and our tour guide finally began sharing some information about the area via the RastaBus intercom system.

I was glad to finally hear from him. I was beginning to worry that he had fallen asleep at the wheel. Unfortunately, just as I feared, most of his information was pretty basic. Like, he explained who Judy Garland was. I kind of wished I was giving the tour myself; I’m full of useless historical and pop culture trivia. It took a lot of self-restraint to keep from interrupting his monologues.

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Griffith Observatory. Not pictured: nachos. SCREAMfmLondon

Griffith Park

Our next stop was the Griffith Observatory, where we were given another 45 minutes to wander aimlessly and not really accomplish anything. I must admit I was getting a little tired of being forced out of the pleasantly air-conditioned bus into the actual great outdoors.

Since there isn’t much science you can accomplish in 45 minutes, I headed straight for the café and emerged with a plate of nachos. The Café at the End of the Universe is significantly less cool than it sounds with a name like that, but they did sell me a plate of tortilla chips covered in fake cheese, guacamole and pico de gallo, so what more can you ask for?

Hollywood

Cruising through Hollywood, the tour guide actually shared some interesting information! Did you know that the blinking light atop the Capitol Records Tower spells out the word “Hollywood” in Morse code? I did not.

Shortly, my tourmates grew jealous of my uncanny ability to locate and devour nachos under strange circumstances, so they insisted that our driver stop at Chibiscus Asian Café and Restaurant on Sunset for some food. We called the restaurant from the van (“Hello, there are about 13 of us, and we’re coming in right now.”) and filled the entire small space with our raucous presence. I watched K-pop music videos while everyone else ate ramen.

And, then, very awkwardly, I said, “Hey… Would it be weird if I asked you to leave me here?”

They didn’t seem to think so, so I ditched the RastaBus and hiked back home by myself rather than sticking around for the ride back to Santa Monica.

And, well. I did learn the thing about the Capitol Records Building.

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View of my ‘hood from the RastaBus. SCREAMfmLondon

Here are some cool tours to take in LA that will circumvent the RastaBus experience:

Pamela Des Barres Rock Tour

Rock groupie Pamela Des Barres guides groups around Hollywood and Laurel Canyon, reading excerpts from her book, “I’m with the Band,” which details her escapades with Led Zeppelin and other classic rockstars.

Esotouric Literary LA Tours

Tour the hangouts of famous Los Angeles writers, including a jaunt to Charles Bukowski’s favorite liquor store, a Raymond Chandler-themed gelato shop and settings from James M. Cain’s “Mildred Pierce.”

Dearly Departed Tours

Creepy tours include the classic Tragical History Tour of celebrity death locations, the epic three-hour Helter Skelter tour of the Manson Family murder locations, and a horror movie location tour, among others.

Esotouric True Crime Tours

These morbid tours dig into LA’s most famous crimes, including the Black Dahlia murder, the serial killings of the Night Stalker and “hotel horrors” at hotspots like the Alexandria and the Cecil.