Category Archives: live music

Theater: Sejong Center presents ‘Chess’

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The musical “Chess” at the Sejong Center for the Performing Arts in Seoul. SCREAMfmLondon

This June and July, the Sejong Center for the Performing Arts hosts the musical “Chess,” marking its debut in Asia.

The musical was composed in the early 1980s by two former members of ABBA. The story follows a Cold War-era chess tournament between the American grandmaster, Freddie, and the Soviet grandmaster, Anatoly. The two men conflict not only over chess but also over their mutual attraction to Freddie’s manager, Florence. It’s a story of betrayal, ambition and… chess.

I feel like there was a rather weird phase of pop culture interest in chess during the 1980s and ‘90s, traceable back to the brief fame of Bobby Fischer. I definitely studied a disproportionate amount about chess while I was in school (compared to how useful it’s been in life, which is not at all).

During my lifetime, I have seen exactly zero evidence that the paparazzi and/or the general public would ever care about chess championships, but it comes up all the time in literature.

Unfortunately, chess is not actually that exciting as a subject for musical theater.

The Seoul production was basically carried by the ensemble dancers and the spectacular choreography from Seo Byung-goo and Hong Yoo-sun. The cast made interesting use of the stage, set and props to keep each scene at its most visually stimulating. And “One Night in Bangkok” is a total jam. But there’s only so much dancing rooks can do for your show, y’know?

The main cast rotates throughout the week and includes a number of well-known k-pop stars. The performance I attended featured Ken from the band VIXX as Anatoly, Shin Sung-woo as Freddie, and An Si-ha as Florence.

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Fans leave well-wishes for VIXX’s Ken outside of the theater on the day of his performance. SCREAMfmLondon

Ken has a powerful voice, which was particularly evident during his cynical solo song “Where I Want to Be.” This number was definitely one of the highlights of the show and showed off his smooth vocals.

However, Ken’s acting did not seem on par with his singing — he struggled to come across mature enough to accurately portray Anatoly. His musical talent is certain, but his acting failed to bring any emotional depth to the character. He also failed to create any real chemistry with the other actors; certainly not with Florence, for whom he was supposed to feel some heart-wrenching passion.

I’d be curious to see the performance again with a change in cast to see how the different actors would alter the experience, or if “Chess” is just unsalvageable. I dunno. Let’s call it a stalemate.

‘Chess’
175 Sejong-daero, Jongno-gu
Weekdays at 4 and 8 p.m., weekends at 3 and 7 p.m. Tuesday – Sunday through July 19
Tickets range from 40,000  130,000 KRW
For more information, visit www.musicalchess.co.kr.

Live-ish: G-Dragon ‘AWAKE’ Hologram Concert

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K-live: the k-pop experience. SCREAMfmLondon

The future is now.

Your watch doubles as a cell phone, cars can drive themselves, and I have appeared onstage as part of a hologram concert.

This is no glitchy “Star Wars”-style hologram, either. This is the real deal. Hologram concerts should be everywhere — this cutting-edge telepresence technology is impressive, interactive and super fun.

K-live, located near the Dongdaemun Design Plaza, is a dedicated k-pop hologram concert hall hosting regular hologram performances from artists including Psy, Big Bang, 2NE1 and, for a limited time, a G-Dragon solo show.

Before the main event, you’re able to mill around K-live and enjoy various interactive stations. There’s a “welcome square” where you can get in a car with Big Bang holograms and, later, dance to “Fantastic Baby” with them. There’s a window where you can ring a doorbell and wait for Psy to appear (if there’s any reason you’d like to do that). There’s a garden from which you can get a great view of Seoul and sip very expensive music-themed drinks. There are bronze handprints where you can compare your gigantic monster hands to the stars’ delicate and dainty ones (I’m about 60 times larger than Park Bom, in case you were wondering).

My favorite is the live photo booth where the life-size hologram of your choice will appear onscreen beside you. Not only will they pose for a photo with you, but they will look right at you and talk to you as well. G-Dragon gave me such a tantalizing once-over in the photo booth that I felt a little flushed moving into the concert hall for the show.

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Such small hands. SCREAMfmLondon

Once the doors are opened, the fans are led into the holograms’ air-conditioned lair, where we first have individual headshots taken. Floor-to-ceiling screens show a variety of different flickering images of G-Dragon, which immediately brings life to the room. There is a designated “standing zone” near the front of the stage as well as some bleacher seating in the back. Both options are awkward, as there are only about nine people in attendance, but we all mostly opt to stand up front.

When the show begins, it’s with a brief film on G-Dragon through the ages: footage shows his baby rapping at age eight (adorable!), his trainee days, the debut of Big Bang, the launch of his solo career. But, still, (the narration tells us) he wonders who he really is… And then he remembers… He’s G-Dragon!

The curtain lifts, and the G-Dragon hologram appears onstage particle-by-particle like he’s traveling by Wonka Vision. When he takes a swipe at the air, his hands appear on screens at either side of the audience. It’s spectacular.

Finally, the hologram becomes completely fleshed-out. It no longer looks like virtual reality — it could really be G-Dragon as he breaks into his first song, “Heartbreaker.”

There are dazzling visuals coming from every angle, costume changes and bubble machines as GD’s hologram powers through a medley of “Crayon” and Big Bang’s hit “Fantastic Baby.” The crowd goes wild! Girls are screaming all around me, and it’s hard to believe that none of this is real.

After “Fantastic Baby,” the energy shifts as GD explores his sensitive side. Onscreen, he rifles through a box of mementos from past loves, including (of course) the photo booth pictures of us, his adoring audience. He flips through them, commenting on a few.

“It’s totally over with you!” he announces about one girl, crumpling up her photo and crushing it underfoot. Beside me, she gasps indignantly.

“I wonder if you still turn red when you drink?” he asks wistfully about another.

Then, oh, god, my photo appears onscreen.

“I really miss you,” he tells me. He flips through more photos — my goofy face photoshopped next to him in romantic embraces. The indignant gasping from the crowd intensifies as GD approaches the telephone and begins to dial.

As I’m watching, I’m grabbed from behind by staff members who escort me swiftly up the stairs toward the back of the stage, where a payphone has suddenly become illuminated. It rings, so I answer it.

“Uh, hello?” I literally say out loud, even though I’m well aware I’m talking to a hologram. Instead of an answer, I see my own image materialize onstage as a hologram. Whoa.

As the opening bars of “Who You?” begin playing, GD walks casually back out onstage, heading straight toward me. Our holograms coexist on the same astral plane, and all is right with the world.

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Doesn’t it look like we exist in the same dimension? But he is a hologram and I am a human — it can never be. SCREAMfmLondon

He proceeds to serenade me — it’s very suave. He even gets down on one knee and reaches for me. The other girls in the audience are panicking, but I’m fully engrossed in My Moment. It’s truly magical. GD’s hologram twirls around me, playfully interacting with my hologram. I’m still standing at the phone booth and, in hologram world, light rain begins to fall as the song comes to a close. GD produces an umbrella from thin air and smoothly pops it open over both of us. Then, he tilts it toward the audience, covering our faces as he leans in for the kill.

I don’t know what to do with myself. It’s just so realistic. Feels just like a real kiss! Who needs space travel? This is the most exciting use of technology I’ve ever seen.

A K-live staffer offers me his hand as I stumble back to my original position in the audience, trembling slightly with adrenaline after my adventure through space and time with G-Dragon.

I’m taking some time to recover when the YG “KRUNK” bear appears in the crowd and starts reeling people in to high five and dance with him. After this brief interlude, KRUNK is whisked backstage and then reappears as a hologram onstage. He removes the head of his bear suit to reveal none other than G-Dragon himself! Natch.

The bear suit dissolves as “Crooked” begins. This performance is the most surreal of them all. They take full advantage of the medium to play with the size and position of GD and his backup dancers, as well as his interaction with the scenery. It’s very cool, and I wish I could live in this hologram wonderland.

It’s a little sad rejoining reality after such a strange, futuristic experience. But on my way out, I’m handed two free tickets to another hologram concert for my participation in the show.

So, maybe I will get to live in hologram wonderland after all…

G-Dragon “AWAKE” Hologram Concert
100-196 9th Floor Lotte Fitin, 264 6-ga Eulji-ro Jung-gu
7 p.m. and 8 p.m. Tuesday – Sunday through July 31
Tickets are 33,000 KRW.
For more information, visit www.klive.co.kr.

Live: 2015 Dream Concert at Seoul World Cup Stadium

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The Seoul World Cup Stadium aglow with the passion of k-pop fans. SCREAMfmLondon

On May 23, I attended the 21st annual Dream Concert. The concert is a k-pop smorgasbord: emceed by Leeteuk from Super Junior and featuring performances from more than 30 k-pop groups from rookies to chart-dominating stars.

Yeah, I know. More than 30 bands. I feel like everyone who’s ever had a song in their heart was invited to perform at this event. So, strap yourselves in for this intensive band-by-band recap of the 2015 Dream Concert:

24K

24K performed “Hey You,” and the moves for the chorus of this song were some of my favorites from the whole event. That’s a pretty suave dance and a catchy beat. But I want to know why two of the band members were wearing facemasks during the red carpet procession and through the entire performance. Is this their concept? Who cares about a boyband that doesn’t have faces? Don’t they know that the faces are like 70 percent of the appeal of a boyband?

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4Minute and EXO stand together awkwardly at the end of the 2015 Dream Concert. SCREAMfmLondon

4Minute

4Minute was one of the groups I was most looking forward to at the Dream Concert. Their performance of this year’s hit “Crazy” was excellent, but the second number (“What’s Your Name?”) was kind of uninspired. HyunA, I still love you, though, girl.

9Muses

I found “Drama” to be a boring song with some boring costumes. And I know they’ve gone through a lot of lineup changes, but it kind of bothers me that there are only eight members of 9Muses.

B1A4

B1A4 put on a really engaging performance — probably one of the best of the night. I was not feeling their outfits (nice shorts, y’all), but the live show sold me on the song “Solo Day.” Quite adorable and good stage presence.

BTS

BTS (short for Bangtan Boys) performed “I Need U” and “Fun Boys.” BTS is more on the hip-hop end of the spectrum (one of the guys is named Rap Monster), but, like, as hip-hop as you get wearing Bermuda shorts with suspenders. “Fun Boys” is kind of a jam, though.

Berry Good

Berry Good was probably my favorite of the rookie groups. Definitely my favorite outfits of the night with flouncy pink miniskirts, matching pink ties, chunky heels and glittery wrist cuffs. “Because of You” was also a good song: I was into the juxtaposition of the sweet verses against the weird dubstep pre-chorus.

Boys Republic

Boys Republic was one of several groups working the sexy schoolboy angle at the Dream Concert. Unfortunately for them, the sound was pretty screwed up during their set (although the sound mixing was pretty awful throughout). However, they put on an amusing show — by that, I mean that they came out with the kind of drippy “Hello” and then switched it up by ripping off all their clothes during “The Real One.”

BTOB

Man, am I the only one who has a hard time telling the difference between BTS, BTOB and B1A4? Not enough variety in these band names. BTOB performed “Wow” and “Beep Beep,” which were fun songs, but not that memorable.

CLC

CLC performed a remix of the song “Pepe,” but it was not anything to write home about, so I will refrain.

EXID

I was quite looking forward to EXID’s performance — as was everyone else, I think. Both “Ah Yeah” and “Up & Down” are excellent songs with really recognizable trademark dances, and I especially love LE’s unique rapping voice. For their set, EXID covered the stage with about 5 million backup dancers, but they had to perform a watered-down version of “Up & Down” to appease the family-friendly audience, I guess. Still, EXID put on a great show and had the entire venue buzzing.

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EXO at the 2015 Dream Concert. SCREAMfmLondon

EXO

EXO is a fantastic band, and both “Call Me Baby” and “Growl” are phenomenal songs. EXO’s fanbase at the Dream Concert was also kind of awe-inspiring and terrifying. I’m not sure why exactly EXO didn’t close the show, as they clearly should have. The well-orchestrated fanchants during EXO’s set could be heard clearly outside of the venue, across a few streets of traffic. All of the band members looked great (Chanyeol’s styling was particularly cool), but I’m just afraid they’re going to drop dead of exhaustion at any moment.

GOT7

GOT7 came to the Dream Concert straight from some rigorous promoting schedule, and it showed. The sound quality was also pretty wack during their set, which affected the show. Mark still did a lot of sweet acrobatic moves during “Stop Stop It” and “Girls Girls Girls,” but it wasn’t the best performance. It was a bummer because they looked visibly frustrated coming offstage, and they’re usually so affable and charming.

HALO

I don’t remember HALO’s performance of “Grow Up” as much as the impression they made walking the red carpet. Nice shorts, y’all.

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This is a crummy picture of Infinite standing dramatically during the intro to “Back.” SCREAMfmLondon

Infinite

Infinite was such a delight. I was really looking forward to Infinite, and I’m still stoked about it. They looked sharp in sleek black-and-white suits as they performed “Back” and “Paradise.” And what’s more: while some bands look so dead behind the eyes while going through the motions of their dances, Infinite seemed so glad to be there. Literally no one was having more fun than Dongwoo. They couldn’t get him offstage after the show. They had to cut the sound from his microphone, and he still kept jumping around and playing with the fans long after everyone else had left. It was so damn endearing.

Hyoseong

Jun Hyo-seong of Secret performed her solo song “Into You.” She is super attractive, but she appeared creepily robotic during her passionless performance. I was very scandalized, however, when one of her dance moves included having a female backup dancer reach around from behind and give her breasts a firm squeeze. Whoa! And EXID can’t do their “Up & Down” pelvic thrusting?!

Kara

Kara revealed “Cupid,” the first track from the group’s newest mini-album, “In Love,” for the first time at the concert. They also wore some white, fringed vests. I felt ambivalent toward all of it.

LABOUM

LABOUM was another of my favorites from the rookie stages, but I took off points for the sexy baby concept. “Sugar Sugar” is such a cute bubblegum pop song, though. It’s very reminiscent of American girl group sounds from the 1950s — even the adorable, simple dance.

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Lovelyz at the 2015 Dream Concert. SCREAMfmLondon

Lovelyz

Lovelyz performed “Hi~” in cute mismatched schoolgirl outfits and released a ton of multicolored balloons into the sky during their set. It looked cool, but, damn, that’s a lot of litter.

MFBTY

MFBTY’s performance was a pleasant surprise at the dream concert. The hip-hop group consists of Korean hip-hop greats Drunken Tiger/Tiger JK, Yoon Mi-rae and Bizzy. Together, they played “Bang Diggy Bang Bang” and “Monster” with guest appearances from many of the other Dream Concert artists — Chanyeol from EXO, Wendy from Red Velvet, LE from EXID, Baro from B1A4, and Rap Monster and Suga from BTS. The songs are good and the collaborations were interesting, but they actually messed up their set and had to start all the way from the beginning again, which killed my buzz, as well as the illusion that this was a live concert.

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Monsta X at the 2015 Dream Concert. SCREAMfmLondon

Monsta X

Monsta X was so much fun. The performance of “Trespass” began with a guy popping out of a trap door a few feet from my face and aggressively ripping off his shirt. He was then joined onstage by his bandmates — as well as a slew of backup dancers dressed in cheap police uniforms. Hell yeah, is this the Dream Concert or a bachelorette party? I don’t even remember what the song sounded like, but who cares?

Oh My Girl

OMG performed “Cupid” dressed in cheerleader uniforms. I feel like there are a million bands who have performed a song called “Cupid” dressed in cheerleader uniforms, but at least the chorus of this song is catchy.

Red Velvet

Red Velvet opened the show, for some reason. I was really looking forward to their performance, but I wasn’t ready for it when they began — and then it was over just as quickly. Plus, they released some giant Red Velvet beach balls during this set, so I had to concentrate on not getting bonked instead of watching the show. “Ice Cream Cake” is a jam, though, and Red Velvet should’ve performed a bit later on in the evening.

ROMEO

I had the best seats in the house, I think — especially for backstage insight. One of my favorite behind-the-scenes moments was when Romeo was running onstage to perform: one of the guys tripped over the plastic mats covering the soccer field and totally ate it right in front of me. Also, they performed “Lovesick.” But that guy fell down! Comedy gold.

Secret

In addition to Hyoseong’s solo stage, Secret performed “Magic” and “Madonna.” Neither were very interesting! Moving on.

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SHINee closing the 2015 Dream Concert like pros. SCREAMfmLondon

SHINee

SHINee closed the show like pros. They performed “View” and “Love Sick” from their latest album, “Odd,” which was just released on May 18. “View” is a really catchy, kind of clubby song that is (dare I say it?) probably my favorite SHINee song to date. The band executed their moves flawlessly, and Jonghyun and Key looked super cool. But Taemin… Taemin wore a strange oversized sweater and a pair of oversized pants with the phrase “OPEN HERE” printed boldly down the fly. It was a killer performance, but somebody needs to dispose of that outfit.

SISTAR

A great behind-the-scenes moment came after Sistar’s techno remix of “Touch My Body.” When the backup dancers climbed offstage before the group’s second number, Bora casually left right alongside them while her bandmates were introducing the next song, “I Swear.” Somebody had to grab her by the arm and throw her back onstage to finish the performance. Anyway, I think I enjoyed the re-imagined rendition of “Touch My Body,” but the sound was so blown out, I could barely hear anything. C’mon, Dream Concert.

Sonamoo

When you see 30 bands in one sitting, it can feel like you’re seeing the same thing over and over again… No, wait, I’m sorry, that’s just Sonamoo performing “Deja Vu.” Ha. Ha ha.

SPEED

I thought Speed was cool. The boys looked casual yet powerful, and like they were having a lot of fun. They wore schoolboy uniforms and shoes equipped with skates, so the dance for “What U” could incorporate some effortless gliding as well as their typical acrobatic tricks. Throughout their set, they skated back and forth across the stage in backwards caps. Kind of a “Smokin’ in the Boys Room” aesthetic.

T-ara

T-ara performed “Little Apple,” followed shortly by Eun-jung’s solo performance of “I’m Good.” Eun-jung, the lead vocalist and rapper in T-ara, made her solo debut as Elsie at the beginning of the month. Her solo stage was an unusual change of pace — more lyrical and easy-listening than the pop and hip-hop that dominated the Dream Concert.

Topp Dogg

What I really enjoyed about Topp Dogg was that the band name was misspelled as “ToppGogg” on the official Dream Concert poster. There are also like 500 people in this band. They performed “Top Dog” with some impressive pyrotechnic effects that coincided with the song’s chorus (“T. O. Double P. / D. O. Double G. / Topp Dogg!”). Their set was highly entertaining.

VIXX

VIXX is such an embarrassing breed of ultra-adorable that it’s kind of likeable. Their style is almost too cutesy for me, but I found their Dream Concert performance to be one of the best. They performed “Love Equation” and “Error,” and I was officially sold on the goofy move where they spell out their band name with their arms. Also, Leo’s voice is beautiful, and I enjoy how vaguely uncomfortable he always looks because I’m hoping he feels as conflicted as I do about that VIXX choreography.

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The 2015 Dream Concert. SCREAMfmLondon

Live: Big Bang at Olympic Gymnastics Arena

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Fans arrive at Seoul’s Olympic Gymnastics Arena to see Big Bang’s first concert of the 2015 MADE World Tour on April 25. SCREAMfmLondon

Approaching Olympic Park in Seoul this weekend was like arriving in Emerald City at the end of the yellow brick road. The expansive sidewalks were lined with banners billowing in the wind — each one depicting a member of the five-piece K-pop group Big Bang sporting a ridiculous hairstyle. Above them floated giant, luminescent balloons displaying phrases like “빅뱅 IS BACK.” It was magical.

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Big Bang’s official light sticks are so cool until you’re trying to see around them in the crowd. SCREAMfmLondon

The moment had finally arrived for Big Bang’s much-anticipated comeback after about three years of the members focusing on solo work and not releasing any new group material. The momentous occasion was marked with two consecutive concerts at Seoul’s Olympic Gymnastics Arena on April 25 and 26 — and I attended them both.

The MADE 2015 World Tour dates in Seoul served to usher in a new era for the band. Here’s the plan: Big Bang will release an EP on the first day of each month from May to September of this year (“M,” “A,” “D” and “E”). Each EP will feature two new singles — until September, when the full-length studio album “Made” will finally be released. It’s kind of complicated. I love it.

The first two songs — due to be released May 1 — were introduced at this weekend’s concerts. And they are both killer tracks.

The group presented “Loser” first by screening the official music video, which was filmed just a few weeks ago in downtown Los Angeles. One scene shows G-Dragon sprawling out despondently across Spring Street as the ol’ Metro Rapid lumbers past. Truly a merging of my favorite worlds.

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T.O.P rocking that hairstyle like only he can. SCREAMfmLondon

The video is exactly the kind of music video I love — a classic strung-out, rock ‘n roll aesthetic to match the song’s maudlin theme. Taeyang spray paints messages about sin at a trailer park, Seungri smashes some furniture, Daesung gets his ass kicked out front of a convenience store, T.O.P wears his pajamas outside. It’s perfect, and it perfectly matches the song’s gorgeous lyrics. In the first verse, G-Dragon admits, “Honestly, I’ve never fit in… / Love was already forgotten to me, who was alone. / I’ve had enough of hopeful love songs.”

After screening the video, the band reappeared onstage in a revolving platform of windows and mirrors to perform the song live for the first time. In fact, they performed each of the new songs about three or four times each (if you count some of the a capella bits) both nights, which sounds like it would be annoying but was actually wonderful and super effective in harnessing the excitement for the first EP release. Now I don’t want to listen to anything else. ‘Cause I’m just a loser, loner, a coward who pretends to be strong~

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Seungri in the foreground with T.O.P on the big screen. SCREAMfmLondon

During the live performance, Seungri really sold “Loser,” carrying the chorus and adding emotional flourishes to his act. Seungri’s overall performances really stood out at both of the Seoul concerts. In between “How Gee” and “Feeling,” he appeared onstage with a set of turntables to try his hand at DJing, which was a cool way to introduce yet another style of music to Big Bang’s already eclectic repertoire. Seungri was terribly affable and charming during all of his spoken interludes too, but the real highlight was the unexpectedly sexy dance he delivered during “Strong Baby.” Also, his is the only 2015 Big Bang makeover that doesn’t look kinda stupid.

At the midpoint of the band’s three-hour long concerts, each member took the stage solo to show off their individual strengths.

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G-Dragon, Seungri and Daesung perform in Seoul on April 26. SCREAMfmLondon

T.O.P made an impression with his intense rendition of “Doom Dada” in a Piet Mondrian-print suit. Definitely in the running for best wardrobe change, but slightly edged out by G-Dragon in calf-length fur, combat boots and gold, glittery jackets for his “Good Boy” duet with Taeyang and solo performance of “Crooked.” G-Dragon is an incredible artist, and it’s pretty awe-inspiring to be in his presence while he’s doing his thing. What a joy it is to be in the same universe, the same country, the same room as Kwon Ji-yong.

Following G-Dragon’s solo, the band premiered its second new song, “Bae Bae,” with a lyric video followed again by a live performance. “Bae Bae” is another brilliant track — so different in tone from “Loser” but nonetheless cohesive. It’s a more seductive, R&B-style track with a mellow, guitar-driven chorus. G-Dragon and T.O.P both deliver killer verses (GD’s intonation on each repetition of “bae bae” is so perfect — I don’t know how he does it). My favorite line is GD’s “Is she a person or an angel? / Oh, Jesus, bae bae!”

There was never a low point at either of Big Bang’s two Seoul concerts this weekend. Both shows were exceptional from beginning to end.

For two days, I had the pleasure of spending three uninterrupted hours watching pop music at its absolute best. It’s truly a sight to behold. I feel like I have seen a lot of things, but I have never seen anything like Big Bang. Onstage, they bare it all: the dedication and work ethic, the unique talents of each member, the genuine enjoyment of the craft, the fun-loving energy, the limitless creativity, the catchiest hooks of “Fantastic Baby” and “Stupid Liar,” the powerful range of “Blue” and “Bad Boy,” the outfits, the dancing, the special effects, the thought put into every moment.

You may have seen a lot of things, but you have never seen anything like Big Bang.

Great craic at the Celtic Arts Center

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New Irish dancers learn some basic steps at the Celtic Arts Center in North Hollywood. SCREAMfmLondon

I just knew there had to be a place in Los Angeles that gave Irish language lessons. I just knew. If it exists, it probably exists in LA.

That’s how I came across the Celtic Arts Center — An Claidheamh Soluis — in North Hollywood.

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SCREAMfmLondon

Every Monday night, the group gathers at the Mayflower Club, a wood-paneled venue complete with a small stage and, naturally, a well-stocked bar and provides free classes and workshops, then caps the night off with a traditional Celtic jam session.

Upstairs, lessons in Irish and Scots-Gaelic take place in cozy rooms lined with bookshelves full of worn-out classics including Yeats and Seamus Heaney. The beginners’ Irish language classes follow Máiréad Ní Ghráda’s book “Progress in Irish,” and when you graduate to the next level, the Arts Center also offers an intermediate workshop. But good luck with that. I’ve been stuck in a never-ending loop of beginners’ classes for like three years.

After wracking your brain over all the sínte fada, you can head downstairs, where the real céilí atmosphere settles in over a few rounds of dancing. Some of your classmates (like me!) are former competitive Irish dancers, and some are trying it out for the first time that night. Either way , they will grab you and throw you into the middle of the Walls of Limerick or the Siege of Ennis, and it will be a blast. Guaranteed.

And at 9 p.m., musicians set up their fiddles and drums for a traditional Celtic music seisiún.

The Celtic Arts Center is such a cool asset to the SoCal community. Definitely check it out!

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“I have a headache.” SCREAMfmLondon

2015 St. Patrick’s Day Céilí
11110 Victory Blvd.
7 p.m. Monday
Admission is free.
For more information, visit www.celticartscenter.com.

Jeff Goldblum at the Rockwell Table & Stage

Another great picture: Jeff Goldblum performs with the Mildred Snitzer Orchestra at the Rockwell Table & Stage in Los Feliz. SCREAMfmLondon

Sometimes, I wonder why I would ever want to leave LA. Such a night was when I made it out to the Rockwell Table & Stage in Los Feliz to see Jeff Goldblum play jazz with the Mildred Snitzer Orchestra over cocktails. Only in Hollywood, folks.

More-or-less every Wednesday at 9 p.m., Jeff and his band perform a low-key concert at the Rockwell with Jeff simultaneously on piano and holding court with the audience, singing and shooting the breeze about movies.

On the night I attended, the band played standards like “Bye Bye Blackbird” and invited up a few guest performers, including a fantastic female vocalist who sang “It Had to Be You” with them.

In between songs, Jeff tools around on the piano and engages in conversation with the audience. Which is super awkward. I cannot emphasize enough how apparent the generation gap was here. I’m going to have to assume that the majority of the audience came out because they remember “Jurassic Park” fondly from their childhoods, because they were not familiar with the songs and struggled to keep up with Jeff’s references to classic movies. There was some sort of degrees-of-separation game going on, but the connection was not being made between Jeff’s contributions of films like “Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore” and the audience shouting “Shia LaBeouf! ‘Harry Potter’!” Like I said: awkward for all of us.

If you want to attend, you can order tickets ahead of time, and you’ll get a guaranteed seat. Regular seats are $20, and VIP seats are $25 if you want to be all up in Jeff Goldblum’s face. Or, you can just swing by and hope there’s an open chair. This is what I did — and I scored one of the last stools available at the bar, which was a perfect spot from which to eat and watch the show. It was fate.

At the Rockwell, the cocktails all have fabulous names: The Rejected Suitor, for example, is made with honey scotch, blackberries, fresh mint and Cointreau. I ordered “Jim Got Down on His Knees” because that’s a great fucking name for a cocktail, and it sounded delicious: rosé, grape vodka and St. Germaine Elderflower. It was delicious, by the way, and all of the craft cocktails cost $12.

After watching plates of aromatic food pass by for a while, I decided I couldn’t stand it any longer and decided to order something of my own. I went with one of the wood stone flatbreads ($15) — the forest mushroom, which is topped with wild mushrooms, white sauce and truffle oil. It was perfect.

The entire event is a classy, classic Hollywood experience, and I highly recommend it.

Jeff Goldblum and the Mildred Snitzer Orchestra at the Rockwell Table & Stage
1714 N. Vermont Ave.
9 p.m. Wednesday
Entry is free; reserved tickets range from $20-25
For more information, visit www.rockwell-la.com.

The ten best One Direction songs (according to me)

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Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Liam Payne, Louis Tomlinson and Zayn Malik. Photo courtesy of Columbia Records, Syco Music and Sony Music.

The passing of another November means that it has officially been one year since my inaugural One Direction post, and the time for another is upon us. Rather than inflict another 1,000-word review of “Four” on the world (we all know I’d do it), I have decided to use my expertise and wisdom to compile a list of the all-time best One Direction songs. I have effectively ranked every single one of them (what did you do with your day?), but here I will share only my top ten:

  1. “Fireproof”

Released as a free download this September in anticipation of “Four,” “Fireproof” is a chill guitar-driven love song that gave me high hopes for the rest of the record. Unfortunately, it also turned out to be the best song on the record. Louis Tomlinson’s usually reedy voice lends itself extremely well to this song, and his verse is the best part: “I think I’m gonna win this time, / I roll and I roll ‘till I change my luck.” “Fireproof” is mature and romantic — a strong collaboration between Louis, Liam Payne and longtime songwriting partners Jamie Scott, John Ryan and Julian Bunetta.

  1. “Strong”

One of the most musically unconventional and experimental One Direction songs. The lyrics are simple, passionate and vulnerable with solid songwriting contributions (again) from Louis. Love the soft, understated rhythm of the verses — particularly the first two, which utilize Zayn Malik and Liam’s vocal talents well. Is that so wrong? Is it so wrong that you make me strong?

  1. “Teenage Dirtbag”

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    I can’t take a picture to save my life. If you squint: Niall at the Rose Bowl in September. SCREAMfmLondon

This is a cover, and One Direction never actually recorded a studio version, so it probably doesn’t belong on the list. But it’s just so damn superb. It’s worth it to sift through the numerous live versions of this Wheatus cover to find one you can hear over the screaming crowds. There are so many things to love: Liam’s falsetto, Zayn’s immense high notes, Harry Styles’ attitude and Niall Horan’s playfully roguish verse and guitar work. One Direction takes this pop-punk jam to the next level of mischievous teenage rebelliousness, and it’s awesome.

  1. “Heart Attack”

Just a generally fun, upbeat track from 2012’s “Take Me Home.” Nothing too complex about this one: the highlights are Niall’s punctuating “OW!”s that kick off every chorus. “Heart Attack” is a well-executed pop track that’ll get you pumped up and on the dance floor despite your broken heart.

  1. “Best Song Ever”

It is a good one. It’s at least the best nonsensical pop song on “Midnight Memories.” The best part is Harry’s verse: “Said her name was Georgia Rose, / And her daddy was a dentist. / Said I had a dirty mouth, / But she kissed me like she meant it.” And the accompanying music video is a work of art with Zayn in drag and the closest One Direction has ever come to a choreographed dance routine.

  1. “Tell Me a Lie”

No one was expecting “Tell Me a Lie” to crack the top five, right? I might be alone in my zealous love for this song, but it’s really great. The track was wise beyond its years when One Direction recorded it for their debut album, “Up All Night.” It comes across as emotional, earnest and experienced, which is unusual for a One Direction song. Kelly Clarkson is actually one of the songwriters, and that resoundingly sad-yet-upbeat chorus really gets to you: “If he’s the reason that you’re leaving me tonight, / Spare me what you think, and / Tell me a lie.”

  1. “What Makes You Beautiful”

Iconic. Where would we be without “What Makes You Beautiful”? It’s One Direction’s 2011 breakout hit, and it still holds up today. I hate the message, but this song sucks you in. What a jam. If you have a room full of people younger than 30, “What Makes You Beautiful” will never fail to get the party started.

  1. “She’s Not Afraid”

    Louis, Zayn and Liam at the Rose Bowl in September. SCREAMfmLondon

    Louis, Zayn and Liam at the Rose Bowl in September. SCREAMfmLondon

An underrated bonus track from the deluxe edition of “Take Me Home.” “She’s Not Afraid” is a slick pop track with an edgier twist, describing the girl who “sneaks out in the middle of the night, / tight dress with the top cut low. / She’s addicted to the feeling of letting go,” but she won’t commit to a relationship (or even being seen in public with you). It’s one of One Direction’s sexiest songs, and it’s very good.

  1. “Kiss You”

This is One Direction at the pinnacle of their boybandom: it is cutesy modern pop perfected. Flawless sound production, immensely catchy verses and an incredibly endearing music video. It’s just irresistibly charming. This is what they were chosen to do, and they do it impeccably on “Kiss You.”

  1. “Happily”

Such an impressive song. “Happily” so amazingly captures the passion and desperation of young love. It makes me wish I was 16, running away from home to be with the boy from the wrong side of the tracks against all odds. With a raw, folksy rhythm to back up an emotional chorus (“I don’t care what people say when we’re together!”), “Happily” is hands-down one of One Direction’s strongest songs.